I have two kids Tyler six and Stella Rose two years old. Even though I work a lot and spend a lot of my time working, they know what quality time with mommy and daddy is.
I work from home which sometimes makes things easy in case of emergency I could run to them or to the doctor, or rush to the school if necessary.
The other day I sat down and thought that my older son has seen how me and my husband do things around the house that he is learning the same (in many ways)
You need to involve your kids in doing things around the house, from throwing the trash, to pick up toys, to learning about your work, etc.
So one day I was having lunch and my six year old Tyler said: Mommy I served you water because you always have lunch with a glass of water. Of course at first my reaction was WOW Tyler, that is very nice of YOU. Then I started to realize that those are the things we have doing for years; in our case mommy serves dinner and daddy is in charge of drinks (sometimes we have to remind him that…haha) and without a doubt this have been little lessons that will live forever in Tyler’s mind.
We are a family and we all have to help. We all have to be involved. I don’t like, when someone tells me I can’t leave m
y daughter with my husband because he wouldn’t know what to do. Trust me they will figure it out. We weren’t born to be expert moms and learned to be and to do the best with our kids. Perhaps we have that mother instinct but men need time with their kids to develop that special bond and learn to be parents.
We have our “Brooks rules”
- No shouting
- No fighting
- No bad words / talk back
- No stomping
That was our case and I am pretty sure you will have your own rules but you also have to set up your rewarding program.
The program that worked for us (to me is so silly and simple) I wish I could have known that long time ago. But simple smiley face stickers. My kids have a chart with each their names and they earn smiley faces when they do something really good.
My six year old has a new reward system, he wants a toy that cost $18. His dance competition is coming up soon and everytime he has a class, the teacher will determine if he earns up to 3 stickers per class, until he gets to 18 stickers which will give him his $18 for his Minions fart gun…(YES, FART GUN). Smart or not, this is working and my soon feels motivated to practice and get ready for his competition in January.
You have to figure what works with your kid, everyone is different. My son doesn’t like to be panished obviously but what really upsets him is not having his happy face stickers.
On the other hand my two year old daughter, she is still learning. she doesn’t like going on time out, but with her we are still learning.
When she wants mommy time, she doesn’t understand that mommy is working and wants to be with me and end of story. So I figured a way, she brings her small chair, sits next to me and starts beading.
Check out this video, this is how my daughter is learning beading, first she just wanted to be with mommy in her lap, nowadays she just sits next to me and does it alone.
So no matter what, you have to figure a way for everyone in your house to be happy. If you husband needs sometime alone. Then give him time alone. Trust me we all get tired at some point even of our kids. Is normal nothing wrong with that;)
Let your kids learn to be themselves, let them discover they have their own personality and ultimately teach them to be independent, to be able to live without you, to know what is good, what is bad and make their own decisions.
I hope this helps YOU in the process of teaching valuable lessons for your kids that will live in their hearts and mind forever.